Lara Witt Would Be a Terrible First Date

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Lara Witt is the managing editor of Wear Your Voice and despite being a solid seven and a half on the unofficial 1-10 scale of female hotness, she’s a waste of natural talent. She’s not a bad writer but she embodies the famous Reagan quote about how liberals aren’t ignorant, they just know so much that isn’t true. A friend recently made me aware of an article she wrote for WYV called, “10 Things Every Intersectional Feminist Should Ask on a First Date.” My friend asked me to read it and write a response to it.

Here goes.

First, intersectionality is a phony concept that exists for one reason: it gives liberals something to bitch about. Period. It’s the idea that if you possess one or more features of an oppressed or otherwise disadvantaged group, you’re at greater risk of discrimination. It’s a crass perpetuation of the victimhood mentality that holds hostage imbeciles like Lara and it’s a classic example of how the Left doesn’t know if it’s coming or going.

Lara promulgates two notions: we are each unique individuals who should be judged by our deeds and the content of our character, not our heritage and immutable attributes, but also our worth and identity are bound to our group affiliation. Group affiliation is akin to strength in numbers but instead of truly empowering anyone, these contradictory concepts are intended to bolster one’s sense of oppression and degradation. It’s strength through weakness. Lara isn’t so much a writer, or an editor, she’s a purveyor of Orwellian doublethink.

The first question in Lara’s list is “Do you believe black lives matter?” Lara is based out of Philadelphia and if she gave a damn about black lives she’d spend more time speaking out about black-on-black violence in the city of brotherly love. The Philadelphia police provides excellent records documenting crime trends and statistics and they reveal that upwards of eighty percent of all offenders and victims are black.

Nationally speaking, Edwin S. Rubenstein demonstrates that in 2013, “a black was six times more likely than a non-black to commit murder,” also in 2013, “of the approximately 660,000 crimes of interracial violence that involved blacks and whites, blacks were the perpetrators 85 percent of the time. This meant a black person was 27 times more likely to attack a white person than vice versa.” Further, Rubenstein notes that blacks are “12 times more likely to murder someone of another race than to be murdered by someone of another race.”

My first question on a date with Lara would be, “Do white lives matter?” I think I already know the answer.

The second question is, “What are your thoughts on gender and sexual orientation?” She says, “The gender binary is a tiny box and I wish it didn’t exist, but it does. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who is queer-phobic.” Later she uses the word, “transphobic.” Something I would make clear to Lara is that phobias are by definition an irrational fear of something. We on the Right aren’t afraid of queers or people suffering from gender dysphoria, we pity them.

Question three: “How do you work to dismantle sexism and misogyny in your life?” Jeez Louise, this chick would hate my answer. I don’t work to dismantle sexism in my life, I am a sexist. I love smacking babes on the bottom and calling them sweetie and honey and explaining things to them loudly and slowly.

Question four: “What are your thoughts on sex work?” Gotta make a living somehow, toots. I’m all about it. Objectifying women for free doesn’t always allow me to seal the deal, in fact, I’ve had more than one drink thrown in my face. A horrible waste of liquor. But if I could pay for it – and afford it – I’d be all in with this one.

The fifth question, “Are you a supporter of the BDS movement?” Throw an M on the end of that and I’d say yes. Alas, there is no M. If you don’t know what BDS is, let me enlighten you: BDS is pure anti-Israel, anti-semitic drivel. For all the grief the Left gives us on the Right about being Nazis, they have no problem throwing Jews under the bus whenever they find an opportunity to.

Question number six is hilarious for its naive revision of history. “What is your understanding of settler colonialism and indigenous rights?” My understanding is that Europeans didn’t colonize the western hemisphere, they conquered it and conquered people have no rights. In fact, the indigenous peoples of the Americas should be kissing our butts for not wiping them out entirely. They’re lucky to have gotten casinos and reservations.

Lara’s seventh question is vintage Marxist offal: “Do you think capitalism is exploitative?” No, capitalism is the greatest force for spreading prosperity ever implemented. It is a system of voluntary exchange between parties to a transaction who can walk away when and if they discover no benefit to themselves. That’s the exact opposite of exploitation, that’s liberty to most rational folks, but to someone like Lara it’s akin to Orwell’s “freedom is slavery.”

“Can any human be illegal?” is the eighth question. The answer is, yes, of course. If you bypass the immigration laws of a sovereign nation and cross its borders without adequate legal permissions you are illegally immigrating to that nation and are therefore you are an illegal immigrant, the same way someone who walks on my property without permission is a trespasser and hence an illegal visitor on my land.

Number nine is,“Do you support Muslim Americans and non-Muslim people from Islamic countries?” Of course I don’t and I’ve written at length as to why I not only don’t support Muslims of any nationality, but I’ve made it crystal clear why I believe them to the be the enemies of civilization and thus worthy of complete annihilation. Earlier I made mention of Lara’s two-faced sentimentality in regards to BLM and how she ignores the epidemic of black-on-black violence in liberal strongholds like Philadelphia. It seems she’s content to also ignore staples of Islamic culture: female genital mutilation, stoning women to death for trumped up charges of “adultery”, acid attacks, executing homosexuals and atheists, etc.

We’re finally on to the last of these vacuous queries. Drum roll please.

Question ten: “Does your allyship include disabled folks?” (Kind of anti-climactic.) Uh, sure. I have no problem being friends with cripples, as long as they’re not crippled assholes.

And so there you have it, Lara Witt’s witless list of first date questions with which to torment real men (who she calls “cishet”), and titillate transitioning twits. But here’s the thing… I understand Lara a lot better than she and her gender-bending freakshow friends may believe.

I’m a swinging bachelor and as such I make acquaintances with a number of lovely ladies who have two things in common: first, they find me irresistable and second they’re all dyed-in-the-wool leftist zealots. I don’t know why this happens to me, maybe it’s something like dating the bad boy. And each of them always say the same thing to me: “I should hate you. I have no idea why I’m doing this.”

As you can imagine, I’ve put up with a lot of guff over the years from these dames. Hell, MJ made me sit through Rent which is an especially despicable display of moral decay. (If you’ve ever been tempted to watch it, let me save you the time with a quick synopsis: an enclave of diseased, penniless, useless eaters revels in degeneracy. There. Now you don’t have to watch it.)

So you might ask, “Why, Michael, do you subject yourself to this onslaught of liberal hotties who can’t keep their hands off your sexy body?” That may not be exactly how you ask it, but I think it’s probably close. Allow me to explain.

There’s something especially arousing about a woman telling me she’s willing to violate her deepest held convictions for the pleasure of my company (I highly recommend it to my fellow liberty-loving lotharios). And I suspect Lara Witt is no different than Regina, Marianne who works at Planned Parenthood, Micaela, what’s-her-name from the bar at the Chinese restaurant, Kelly and Kathy who both threw drinks in my face, and all the rest: These women know intuitively what they really want is a man who doesn’t conform to the post-modernist wave of cultural obliteration sweeping our society. They know they’re wrong, even if they aren’t honest enough to admit it to themselves. Their being cries out for what their persona loathes. Their ideology and perverted value systems are lies. Lara would never agree publicly but she and I both know the truth, and now you do too.

By day, Michael Rodgers is a logistics specialist in the aerospace industry. By night, he is an Associate Editor for the Liberty Conservative. He lives and drinks profusely in Dover, New Hampshire.

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